WAY OUT ON THE WEB

Welcome to the Way out on the Web archive. We've replaced this splendid feature with a daily dose of web weird and wonderfulness called Seen this...? Click here to read Seen this now House Gymnastics Originating from a convulted attempt to put up a bedroom blind, House Gymnastics has developed into a sophisticated new sport, a domesticated Jackass, if you like. Learn the Carpet Crab here. Scissors Paper Stone You may have been the champion of this game when you were at school, but can you beat the computer in a virtual version of this classic game of wits. Click here. Monkey magic This magnificently animated game from Sega sees our monkey friend AiAi take part in the primate equivalent of the triathlon. Help him on his way to glory. Click here. Ashamed of your dancing? Why not get footloose and fancy free with this disco game and prove that you've got what it takes to take the dancefloor by storm. Click here. Iraq's minister of (mis)information For more pearls of wisdom from the Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Saharf, click here. Flying cows Don't know about you, but I've seen many a cow flying through the air after a late night out. But now I can see them flying when sober at this website. Click on the catapult and try to hit the centre of the bullseye with one of the smiling cows. Have a go. Just run for it! Check out the new advert for Nike's new trainers. No matter how old we get, we still find streakers funny - hey, it's a naked man running across the pitch. Ha ha. Click here. Wacko Jacko Do your bit for society and help Michael Jackson become "bad" again with this face-rebuilding game. Go on, click here. Monster fun Remember that old paper game where you draw a part of a monster, such as its head, without letting anyone seeing the section - then you pass it on? You can relive such fun at the fantastic Monsterland website. Click here. Dodgeeee haircuts A collection of footballers' hairstyles from Beckham's dodgy mohican to Eastern European mullets have been amalganated at the Sky Sports website. If you think you can stomach it, click here for the online gallery. Penguin Parade A great time-waster games has to be Steve's Penguin Parade. Conjuring up a penguin with every mouse-click until your screen is overrun with them, it's reminiscent od Disney's Fantasia, where Mickey Mouse can't stop the bucket-wielding broomsticks from multiplying. Click here. Footballer's missus Have you got what it takes to become a footballer's wife? Find out if you're posh enough to live the life of Chardonnay, Donna or Tanya with this quiz. Click here. Death by Acting Whether they've committed suicide by jumping into a blast furnace (Sigourney Weaver in Alien3) or had their heart ripped out by a horribly disfigured Robert De Niro (Helena Bonham Carter in Frankenstein), an actress's on-screen death is likely to be catalogued at the devilishly detailed Cinemorgue. Find out more here. And they all lived happily ever after Will you make it into the Guinness Book of Records as the oldest man (or woman) on earth? Or is this your final year on the planet? Find out if your days are numbered by taking the Death Test. Raise cash for Big Ron After months of extensive research Big Ron Atkinson has been identified as the ultimate party guest. Unfortunately, the money spent conducting this research means the Bovine Labs website is short of cash to book the orange one. Help them out with donations. You know it is your destiny. Click here. Pampers of the opera Sometimes you have to wonder where people get their ideas from. Opera singing babies, whatever next? Click here. Independent kittens Have you ever wondered what Independent Woman by Destiny's Child would sound like if it was sung by kittens from the north of England? Here's your chance. Clean crack If you're a fan of baked beans, you'll be pleased to hear scientists have come up with a new product to prevent smelly bottom odours. The so-called Sphincterine is an "ass-stringent" that is supposed to give the behind a fresh scent and a minty flavor. Try it here.... Put a caption on Rik's chest What caption would you like to slap on Pop Idol flop Rik Waller's t-shirt? Suggestions so far have included, "Come And Have A Go If You Think You're Lard Enough". Click here to send in your suggestions. Papa Don't Preach Find out which of Kelly Osbourne's (the pink-haired, agitated goth and daughter of wild rocker Ozzy) hair style you are, by taking this ultimate quiz. www.liquid2k.com/pinkparfait/hairquiz.html Blocked nose Do you suffer from colds, chronic headaches or even insomnia? If the answer is yes, help is at hand.  Try this nasal passage cleaner to rinse away build-up and residue. As this site quite rightly says, "Sometimes blowing your nose is just not enough". Click here. Frightful singer Find out more about Pakistan's favourite semi-classical and pop singer Sajjad Ali. He's a shocker. You will need to turn your speakers up loud and make sure you read the information carefully. WARNING: This site is not for people of a nervous disposition. Click here. Sky News Update! Sky has just won the rights to screen the World Origami Championships from Tokyo. Unfortunately it's only available on paper view. ITV Digital did have the rights, but they folded. Bizzare bands Popstars and their bands haven't always looked as snappily dressed as Gareth Gates or Kylie. In fact you'll find it hard to believe what some of the bands at this fabulous site are wearing. We just love the Jacob Sisters (pictured) who pose with poodles, a garden gnome and an inflatable turtle. Why? Find out... Ghoulish humour Hopefully you'll have seen the web's scariest ghost photo and its sequel - if not, click here. Well, for those of you unphased by this foolishness, you'll enjoy this tongue in cheek version. Not scary at all! Fishy product Our favourite useless product of the week has to be the Aquarium toilet or the Aquariass, as it's charmingly called. Basically it's a fish tank that can be installed over any standard bowl. We're not quite sure what happens when you flush but we still want one. Click here. Monkey business They're the unsung heroes of history - they've seen and heard it all. From Bonzo to King Kong, from King Louie to Clyde the orangutan. Why, it's a list of Famous Monkeys Through History. Your boys took a hell of a beating It's been a while since the Argies crashed out of the World Cup and even longer since we actually played and beat them. It's time to let bygones be bygones, you might think? Unfortunately there are those on the web who disagree, as this interesting take on the famous 'handbags' picture shows. Giggs at home Not only does Ryan Giggs suffer by playing for Premiership no-hopers Man United (trophy count last season = 0), but now he's got to watch England do the business in the World Cup while the Welsh team take their holidays. Still, Giggsy won't sit still for long and you can see him act out some of the goals so far here. Bugs is the chosen one Check out leather clad Bugs Bunny as he gives Keanu Reeves a run for his money in a new Looney Tunes blockbuster - The Matwix. Are you Rivaldo in disguise? If an opposition football player deliberately smacks a ball at your legs, would you a) stand up and shrug your shoulders, b) clutch your ankle, or c) fall to the floor with your face in your hands? If you answered c you'll know already, but if you want to find out which footballer you are, click here. It's game over for Playstation monkey Should monkey's really sleep with Playstation games? Apparently not according to council officials in West Sussex who have sent Chutney, the console loving capuchin monkey, to a better life in Wales. But without his beloved Playstation, a holiday over the Severn is not one Chutney is likely to relish... Find out more here. Little Donkey, Little Donkey... There are plenty of reasons to stop smoking, but thanks to the power of this ultra-tacky Donkey Cigarette Dispenser, here's a great reason to start. At just £6.99 from HomeFree Shopping you'd be a mule to miss out...  buy one of these... WARNING! The following stunts are performed by professionals idiots - yes, it's Jackass The Movie - be afraid, be very afraid! Tell us about the weird, funny and stupid things you find on the web. Email wayoutweb @ web-user.co.uk